


All the Difference in the World

by Falke



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Scoutmaster AU, scouts and scouting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-21 11:25:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9547100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falke/pseuds/Falke
Summary: There's always something to learn in Ranger Scouts.Maybe that's why Nick came back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a divergent future AU, at least for now. I haven't decided if I want to make it part of my big chronology arc yet. Chapters to come as I finish edit passes.
> 
> Enjoy!

Nick still didn't know if he was cut out for leadership. If he was honest, he might have felt more confident calling the shots on SWAT raids than being the one others looked to to teach civic values or splinting or forestry.

But he'd saved the email about local community positions when it had come around the office, if only because he'd enjoyed the proud little look Judy had given him when he told her. He hadn't started to consider it more seriously until later.

Now they were in the garden, her pulling carrots out of the ground and snapping peas off their stalks, and him cleaning the dirt from them with the little brush and gathering them in the basket on the chair next to him.

She was leaving the decision up to him. She would, even if part of him was hesitating because she didn't like that this would gobble up some of the precious little free time they already shared. Even if part of him worried that it would take him away from her paperwork when he might be able to help. Detectives had even more of it than officers, it turned out.

"I've only ever learned first aid," he said. "I'd have to teach it."

"Basic field aid is nothing like the trauma training we got." She passed him a carrot. "The worst you'll probably get into is CPR."

"I've camped exactly once. If we don't count that time we got rained out up at the pinnacles."

"You did okay then."

"And what if they don't like me? They might find out I'm a cop."

That got Judy to turn around, to study his face so she could decide whether he was being serious. She chuckled at his expression. " _That_ one's an excuse, Mr. Wilde."

Nick shivered. "And they'll call me that, won't they?"

"There might not be any escaping it." She was still watching. She had a smudge of dirt on her brow where she'd reached up to rub at her forehead at some point.

Now, she put her vegetables down in the soil and closed the short distance between them, to press her dirty paws against his own. She pushed all the way onto his lap, under his chin, so he had no choice but to hug her back or risk overbalancing both of them. He leaned them back against the sun-warmed brickwork.

She knew. It wasn't something she had to say aloud. From the moment Nick had brought it up she would have known there was more complicating this decision than schedules or first aid. Nick had spilled his first experience with the Junior Ranger Scouts early. And all these years on it was still tough to relive sometimes, even with the closure he'd experienced, with the help she'd given him.

"I think you would make a wonderful scoutmaster," she said against his throat. "And I think whoever you meet would love you, too."

"First time in a long time we're doing something that isn't together," he said. "I know you're not looking forward to that part."

"No," she agreed. "But for what it's worth, I don't think a hobby to yourself will kill either of us. I think this is good for you."

"Mm."

"And I'll be right here when you get back. You can tell me all about it. I want your stories."

Nick made her more comfortable in his lap. "And what about Bogo? I'll have to clear it with him."

Judy closed her mouth. "That's actually a good point. Want me to talk to him?"

"Oh, no, we agreed." He could still get her to squirm in his claws, and it tugged at him a little bit. It was sealing the deal, knowing she believed he could do this. "When you got promoted. No pulling strings for favors."

"Something unofficial, then."

 _Persistent Carrots._ "As long as you don't lay it on too thick."

"Who, me?"

\---

Bogo, as it turned out, had liked the idea - he just had to insist that Nick's paid police work came first, and that cramped Nick's schedule a bit. When the dust from the applications and recommendations and child safety forms settled, he was only able to help out once or twice a month. It was still a good start, a good way to ease back into what Nick used to know. The full-on Ranger Scouts was a step up from the younger program Nick had participated in as a kit, but the principle was the same.

Now, on select Tuesdays and Saturdays, Assistant Scoutmaster Wilde stood by the mirror in his apartment, making sure the neckerchief and clasp of his new staff uniform was straight. The patterns and badges had changed a bit since the last time Nick was through, but he had long experience with maintaining uniforms now. This was a breeze.

Judy watched from alongside like she usually did, this time with a steaming mug of soup in her paws. "What's on tonight's agenda?"

"Planning, mostly. There's the forestry service campout next month." If he went along, it would be his first expedition with the troop. "Who's going, what they're doing, that sort of thing."

"Will you go?"

Nick looked over at her. "I haven't thought that far ahead. And I don't have your schedule."

"You should go," she said. "And don't worry about my schedule. I think I can manage paperwork on my own for two days without you. Imagine all the firebuilding. And the marshmallows."

Nick could hear the jealousy in her voice. She'd grown up on a farm; she knew how nights out like those went. And it did sound like a lot of fun.

But knowing that she wouldn't be able to come just made it harder to pull her into his arms and nuzzle her goodbye. "I'll bring the dates back, just in case."

\---

Whatever else happened on the trip, it promised to be chilly. The cool season seemed to be getting an early start, if the breeze off the train was any indication. Nick hustled to the side entrance of the school gym where Troop 82 held its meetings. There was a stop keeping it cracked so yellow light spilled onto the parking lot. Someone was already here.

Scoutmaster John and the other ASM, Gregory, were setting out the flag for presentation of the colors. Kits and cubs in their rank patches wandered to and fro. This troop skewed young, mostly second- and first-class scouts. Nick recognized John's kid, Johnny, the hippo. He had started to keep track of the others, too: Luke the otter, a moose, a meerkat who had just moved in, watching with wide eyes as a wolf darted back and forth under the bright halide lights with the bobcat twins, Chris and Steven. There were no foxes.

"Evening, Nick." John raised a hoof. "Glad you could make it. Getting cold out there, yeah?"

"Not too bad yet," Nick said. "A bit early for snow. Hopefully it holds off for a couple more weeks."

"Ah, that's half the fun." John had cut his scouting teeth in this very same troop, and never left. "You get enough of it and it starts to insulate your tent."

"Builds character, then?"

"That's freezing rain." Greg grinned and tilted his mane at the wind that hissing around the open door. He went to secure it. "Pack your good thermals."

These kids were just old enough to start running the formalities of their meetings themselves. Johnny was senior patrol leader, busy calling the rest of them to order in their two patrol lines - lightning and scorpion patrols, by their own popular votes.

Nick stood at attention to one side with the other leaders and saluted the flag with the same ceremony he did during colors at ZPD events. If anything, the scout oath they recited now had only become more important.

And it still took a certain bravery to stand up in front of these kits and their wide-eyed innocence and trust. It had taken a few meetings before Nick started feeling at ease with his role as a mentor and guide. It was more focused than the interactions ZPD had with citizens. More personal. A little more familiar.

"Color Guard, reform ranks," Johnny called.

"Each patrol needs a breakfast and lunch menu by the end of tonight," John said, as the troop broke into its brief meetings. "The closer we can get to healthy, the better, but don't begrudge them their donuts. Greg, can you make sure it happens?"

The lion nodded. "No problem."

John pointed to Nick. "And everyone should have enough layers, just in case it does get cold up there. Winter coats coming in do not count, remind them."

"You got it."

It was strange. Position of authority or not, most of these kits probably had more camping experience than he did. But Nick was at least savvy enough to not let that show - and his own enthusiasm seemed to help later on, as he got the kits in lightning patrol to stop debating the relative merits of pancakes vs. dry cereal long enough to talk about the clothes they needed. The overall answer was yes, everyone was ready.

Only Kyle gave him pause, when he came to find Nick later.

"Mr Wilde?"

No, he still wasn't used to that. Nick turned and looked down. "Hey, Kyle. What's going on?"

"I had a question about the clothes for the trip." The meerkat had huge ears, which usually bounced around like satellite dishes to catch every bit of noise that came his way. Now they were flat against his bowed head as he counted off on one paw. "You said base layers against the fur, midlayers to trap air, and a shell. To keep the weather off."

"That's right." Nick crouched down, to get closer to his eye level. "And do you have all that?"

Kyle glanced up. "Is a hoodie okay?"

"For midlayers?"

"For a coat. We never went camping in the cold."

He hadn't spoken up at the polling, but Nick couldn't exactly blame him. He was still so new he only had a couple meetings of time on Nick. The Fellingers had come across town from Sahara, from where Kyle had started scouting. He was still finding his feet here, among a lot of new faces.

But he made a good point, too. Going unprepared into the cold wasn't just dangerous; it could wreck any interest Kyle had in the trips.

"I think we can make it work," he said, careful to keep his response positive. The meerkat's glance was skittish. It must have been hard enough for him to talk about this. "Do you have gloves?"

Kyle nodded. "And a hat."

"Then you should be fine." Nick got back to his feet. "Just make sure you bring them."

He was a bit brighter now. "Okay."

But Nick did check with John, after they'd finished wrangling the patrols. They stood at a table in the corner to keep an eye on things, while the scouts broke out the rope to practice their knots.

"Don't worry about it." John shook his big head.

"I wasn't quite sure that was the right thing to say," Nick admitted.

"No, that's the right call. You're fine."

"We do have a couple extra parkas in the storage unit," Greg added. "I saw them when we cleaned it last time. They'd probably fit someone as small as Kyle. We'll bring it with. If he needs it, it will be there for him."

"Sorry," Nick grumbled. "That's the sort of thing I'd know if I could make more meetings."

"With your schedule?" John waved it away. "You're going above and beyond as it is. It's good of you to check, too."

They watched as one of the bobcat twins waved a completed taut-line hitch. The others crowded around to check it for function. Kyle, at the edge of the cluster, looked on and chewed his lip.

"He's getting better," John said, when he noticed Nick's attention. "I think the move was a little bit rough on him. He didn't want to talk to anyone the first couple meetings."

He looked careful. He probably wasn't used to being the center of attention anyway, and the others didn't look like they'd come around to including him yet. Was that because he was naturally quiet, Nick wondered, or was it because he was new?

And how could he fix it?


	2. Chapter 2

It was easier to leave for his next meeting, two weeks later, the last one before the trip. It did still make him feel a bit guilty, though, to step out of the evening routine he'd grown so comfortable in with Judy. Some of that was probably her fault. She liked to see him off with a bit of attention.

This time, she left a big folder laid out on the rug in her apartment while she did it.

"You're still working?"

"Just background check stuff." She stood on the couch behind him, to tug at his neckerchief so it would lay flat. "It won't take long."

"What do you do while I'm gone?"

"The dishes," she said, deadpan. "And, yes, some paperwork. But I spend time in the garden, too. Sharon called, last time you were out. We talked for a while."

"As long as you're not doing all the heavy lifting behind my back. I'd feel bad taking all the credit."

She hummed her amusement against him. "That's never stopped you before."

Nick held still, while she draped her paws over him from behind - not to check any of his uniform, but just for the sake of some contact before he left.

"Go have some fun."

She might come along if he gave her the opportunity, he thought as he nuzzled her goodbye. There was nothing stopping her from filling out the paperwork and joining the troop. It was just minor tradition that made most scoutmasters male.

But Judy had been right so far, when she said that a hobby to himself was a good thing. Especially one like this. Yes, he shared his past experiences with her, and she was more than a little responsible for giving him the confidence to restart this corner of his life.

But he'd figured out how to move on himself, too. And the longer he spent with this troop, the more he was convinced it was the last bit of experience he'd needed to put some old demons to rest.

\---

It probably helped that at least one of the scouts there was reminding him more and more of himself at their age.

Kyle arrived late, enough that the rest of the troop had already broken into little groups to finish up their lashing practice and there was no one else to partner with him. He was still struggling a bit with the order of the loops that made up certain knots.

Nick sat with him at one of the long tables the school stored along the side of the gym and helped. They looped strands of rope around the steel table leg and tied them off. Kyle's efforts kept slipping.

"It's wrong," he gritted, and pulled at his strand with some force, so it whipped free.

"I know you can keep them straight," Nick shook his head. "Believe me, this trips everyone up."

"Even you?"

"It's even worse for me. I have to count the loops in my head." Nick indicated the table. "Think about what you're trying to do. Are you tying the rope to the pole so it doesn't move, or do you want to be able to adjust the tension?"

"So it doesn't move."

"Which knot is that?"

"Two half-hitches."

"So two loops, right? What's the order?"

Kyle held the line between his paws, as if visualizing. "One on the outside, one on the inside."

"That's good. Show me."

The knot zipped into place against the bar - and stayed right where it was, even as Kyle leaned his weight on the standing end. He looked surprised when he glanced up.

Nick grinned. "See? You're a natural. Were you practicing last meeting?" He hadn't been there to watch.

"Yep."

"You'll get a chance to use it for real when we go for the campout," Nick said.

Kyle nodded. His ears flicked back behind them, to where the rest of the scouts were clustered. "Do you think I should go?"

"Of course." Nick tilted his head. "Is this about the layers from the other night, Kyle? We're going to make sure you're okay."

"No, I-" Kyle plucked at the working end of his line. "I couldn't find a partner. They had us do that last time, but there was no one left. Luke is going with Richie. Zan won't even talk to me."

Another thing he hadn't been here for. Nick hadn't considered they might have an uneven number of scouts now. It was an easy enough fix, though. "Did you talk to Scoutmaster John?"

"There wasn't time," he said. "I did ask Chris. But he said he and his brother didn't have a two and a half bed tent."

Or maybe it wasn't about the numbers at all.

Nick stared at Kyle's careful ears, feeling the optimism he'd so carefully build around his progress - about his own coming back at all - shake, even under this first meager test. His mouth was dry.

He had hoped it wouldn't have ever come to this. That he might get the best of his return to scouting, without ever having to deal with the disheartening things that kits did to each other. Had it been too much to ask? Maybe. Obviously.

"They said exactly that?"

Kyle sensed it. He was a bright kid. "Well. I am smallest."

_"And-"_ Nick had to let the breath out, slow. "Do you think that really means anything? Scoutmaster John is way bigger than I am. And Greg. Even Zan - he's still a pup, and he's already as tall as I am. Is that important?"

"No," Kyle said. He was almost reluctant about it.

He clearly didn't want to make a fuss. There was something in the way he looked at Nick that was all too familiar, that Nick recognized immediately as something he'd perfected once upon a time, now that he knew what he was looking for. This was the sort of thing that Kyle was used to shrugging off.

Nick ran into situations like this sometimes. Where his work took him into contact with someone who had the same rough start to life he had. And sometimes it got worse, when Nick saw them starting to cope the way he had. It wasn't healthy, and it had taken him too long to realize that.

At least this time, Nick knew how to deal with it properly. He was in a position to maybe keep things from ever getting as bad as they had when he'd last come through Kyle's pawprints. Yes, kits this age were going to hash out a pecking order, to start to feel out predator-prey lines, and the differences between elephants and mice. Wolves and meerkats. It's what they did. But Kyle did't deserve to be on the receiving end of it when it got nasty. No one did. There had to be limits.

Nick took another steadying breath. "Has this been going on since you got here?"

Kyle almost flinched. He didn't answer - but now he didn't have to.

"Nobody's in trouble, Kyle," Nick sighed. he turned so he was straddling the bench seat, to duck his head and look him square on. There was a major scale difference, even here. Would Kyle sense that, too? "Sometimes we just have to remind the others of what it's like to be new somewhere. We'll make this right. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Mr. Wilde."

No, it really wasn't. And Nick couldn't just address it and move on. He couldn't sit here and listen to Kyle normalize something that could get so toxic. Every meeting this went on, it would get worse.

But Nick had to be careful, too. This wasn't about him at all, technically, no matter how it reminded him of things he'd already spent too many years thinking about. The way he reacted here, or the things he said - they might just knock on for a long time.

"You asked me a minute ago if I think you should go on the campout," Nick said. "But I'm not the one who needs to answer that. It's you. Never mind the others. Do  _you_ still want to go?"

Kyle's ears twitched toward the rest of the scouts, but he took Nick's direction and didn't look over. Eventually he nodded.

"They can't change what you want. You get to choose what to believe, and nobody can take that away from you unless you let them." Nick held up their practice twine between two claws. "And I know that can be hard to think about. But that's part of bravery and loyalty, right? Sticking to what you've decided to do."

Kyle frowned. "Even when you're the only one?"

" _Especially_ when you're the only one. That's when it's most important." It was as close as he could get, Nick judged. The memories were back, all right, and stronger than he'd expected they would get. "And you're not the only one. I was in your prints once."

Kyle absorbed that, silent.

"I'm here," Nick said. "The other scoutmasters are here. We'll make sure you've got a place. And we'll be there on the trip, too. If you need help, will you come find us? Promise?"

His nod was even slower this time, but it was strong enough. "I will."

"Okay." Nick nodded, too. He held out the rope, and put a smile on his muzzle that he wished he felt a little bit more. "One more time."

\---

They met for coffee on the waterfront in south Savanna Central on Judy's suggestion, just to get away a little bit. The little park was a quiet dazzle this time of night, reflecting the storefronts and the lights strung through the trees and benches. Judy had her bag with her.

"Tell me you weren't at the office," Nick said.

"No." She looked up at him while she drank. "I figured we're close enough that I can take it back before we go home."

"So you didn't save me any. Good."

The found a low bench, just off the path. Judy sat close enough to pull his paw against her. He curled his tail around behind them.

"Good meeting?" she asked.

"Kyle's having a rough time. The meerkat I told you about."

She didn't press him. She just held his paw a little tighter and listened while he related the story - with all the hesitations and anger and worry that he hadn't acted quickly enough to give Kyle the support he needed.

Because he hadn't seen it coming. He was still so focused on his own memories and experiences, so busy making sure he could handle this new responsibility himself, that he hadn't even considered how others might be figuring out how to deal with it the first time around.

He didn't exactly welcome the turmoil now, but he could at least appreciate why it was tripping him up more than it should have. There hadn't been anyone watching over him, back when he was a scout. There hadn't been anyone in the organization to turn to when it mattered.

"Sounds like you're going to fix it," Judy said, and tilted her head a bit when he was slow to agree. "Right?"

"Right," he said. All it did was make his job more important. "We talked to all of them about it; I talked to Kyle one on one. But there's no manual on getting through to kits. Or at least they didn't give me one."

"They've got to learn their own way through some things," Judy said. She tipped sideways so she fetched up against him. They were in public, where Nick didn't always like this kind of thing. But he sensed Judy had missed him. She wasn't going to take no for an answer - and besides, it would help. They both knew it. He shifted so she would be more comfortable.

"Not everything."

"Okay." Judy sipped her coffee. "Maybe not everything. But Kyle's got you helping him learn the difference. Something tells me he's going to be fine."


	3. Chapter 3

It did nearly rain on them.

The sky threatened from the moment they arrived at their campsite, near the top of a ridge off Country Road 271. Scoutmaster John took one look at the clouds, and two steps into the chilly, heavy-smelling breeze, and directed everyone to set their tents up before they did anything else.

The one Nick shared with the other leaders was palatial - it had a net divider that made it into two rooms, gear webbing everywhere, and an atrium big enough to stretch out in. John spent a lot of time camping, it seemed.

They'd arranged for Kyle to tent with Luke the otter after all. He was experienced, as scouts in this troop went, and while he wasn't exactly friends with Kyle, they'd convinced him to have Richie, his moose pal, bunk somewhere else. Luke was also the second-smallest one around - and that probably still mattered more than anyone wanted it to.

Nick watched around to make sure they and the rest of the troop were getting their rain flies in place, and then they lined up to raise the colors and discuss the evening's responsibilities.

First up was a change out of class A uniforms, into enough layers to stay warm as night fell. Zan, the wolf, pretended not to notice the chill as he talked up his early winter fur. Kyle's hoodie looked like it was swallowing him - but when Nick asked to make sure he was okay, he reassured him that it was plenty warm.

The scouts swept their campsite for burn hazards, gathered downed-wood fuel and built the trip's first fire the old-fashioned way, using the survival skills they'd learned. Scoutmaster John looked on, satisfied with their authentic results but still watchful as they clustered around to hold paws out the flames as they ate dinner.

The adults took their place around the firepit after the lights-out call, waiting for it to burn down enough to extinguish. Nick sat and enjoyed the warmth from the coals. Greg stirred them apart with the rebar poker.

"First aid and water are in my truck," he said. "Food, too. It's unlocked if anyone needs in tonight."

John nodded. "You think that's ready?"

"Yeah."

"Our guy from the Forest Service will be out tomorrow morning at 8," John said. The coals hissed and steamed as he poured water over them, and cool night air rushed in. "Let's get everyone up before then and get breakfast mostly done."

\---

And of course, because everything had gone off without a hitch last night, the sunny morning wasn't quite as smooth. It started after breakfast, while Harvey the ranger talked with John about the trail they were up here to rebuild. Nick and Greg were distributing the tools, and the smallest ones probably weren't quite small enough.

"Are you sure this is all of them?" Nick asked under his breath.

Greg looked uncomfortable. "It's the smallest we've got." He was reading from a clipboard. "John checks them in and out, to make sure we don't lose any. That's it."

Kyle was looking up at a rake that, stood on its end, was still taller than he was. Some of the others, the ones who were big enough to make mid-scale tools work, snickered.

"Want us to cut that down for you?" someone asked. Nick knew who it was before he even turned around.

"Zan."

He shut up, but the moment was already gone. Nick crouched with his back to the other scouts, to get closer to Kyle's level and catch his eye before he could start paying too much attention to it. _Remember what we talked about._ Luke, next to him, shifted from foot to foot and stared at the ground.

"All set?"

Kyle wrang his paws around the too-thick rake handle. But his ears were still up. "Yep."

The trail doubled back up and out of the camp toward the top of the ridge. It was a washed-out mess - more of a culvert, at this point, thanks to all the erosion damage. The forest service had marked the endpoints with yellow landscape flags; the scouts' job was to rehabilitate everything between them. They would be digging it out so it was wider, and seating big logs across the path to keep rain and melting snow from carrying the dirt away.

They spread out to stake out territory. Kyle, to Nick's surprise, volunteered to tackle one of the upper sections, where the incline was steeper and harder to navigate. But he marched up the hillside with the rake, and then with a shovel, and got to work alongside Luke.

They scraped out the furrows left by old runoff and started leveling the terrain. The dirt was moist and gave easily under their tools. Nick worked on a section of his own next to them, and didn't have much else to do but make sure they stuck to the plan. Within an hour, they had a good chunk of the path evened out.

"Mr. Wilde?" Luke paused in his efforts to dig out the side of the hill. "How wide does the trail need to be?"

"Up here? Not wide." The ranger had specified that the less they could get away with, the better. Nick sensed another opportunity. "How long are the ties we brought?"

Kyle stopped, where he was breathing hard from wrestling the rake around. "Four feet."

"Right. And does the trail need to be four feet wide?"

"No."

"Why's that?"

"Because we're turning the logs downhill. So the water can drain."

"That's right." Nick nodded. "So let's start with three feet."

That was another hour of clearing, made a bit tougher as the day heated up and they shed layers, and by the way one of the nearby pine trees twisted over the run of the path, and the way the dirt turned rocky and steep across from it. It was tricky to maneuver even a mid-scale shovel in the gap.

Kyle worked hard at it anyway, scooping the dirt clear and dumping it uphill, to keep anything from sliding down the grade to where the others were still clearing their sections. It was piling up as he went, and Nick realized a bit too late that they'd probably end up having to clear it a second time. Maybe they could use some to shore up the ties, when they started laying them out.

They called a pause at noon, for lunch. Before they trooped back down to the fire, Nick dangled his own bottle in front of his scouts.

"Everyone been drinking?"

Luke held up his water. Kyle hunted for his, where he'd hung it on a branch off the path, and appeared to realize he was thirsty.

They clustered around the long fold-out table to eat, and Scoutmaster John lectured on the importance of drinking enough, and the leaders kept the number of dried beetles flicked at the herbivores to just two. Hopefully the work would tire everyone out and they'd be less obnoxious this evening. They still had plenty to do.

Nick picked out their first log after they'd finished lunch. Greg looked on.

"Sinking ties already?"

"It's not a race," Nick allowed. "But if it was, I think Kyle would be winning. His path is cleared and leveled. Even that kink up by the tree."

"Hm." Greg looked over at the scouts, who were hanging net bags full of their dishes on a line so they would dry in the wind. "Whatever you told him worked, then."

"It's not me doing it."

Nick was glad, for the most part, that Kyle was taking his encouragement to heart. He didn't seem put out by the hard work, even now as he hefted a skein of rope that was nearly as large has he was. He was anxious, maybe, or highly focused. Nick didn't want him to have to feel like he had to pull the same weight as a larger mammal.

But with the way things had gone for him in this troop so far, it probably was still on the meerkat's mind, and Nick couldn't push him on that. It would be, in Judy's words, one of the things that he would have to feel out for himself.

And in the meantime, working hard was much better than turning away from something that was clearly important to him. Nick was going to encourage that.

For now, he dared to enjoy their progress, and pretended not to notice how incredulous some of the other scouts looked as he followed Kyle's directions and lifted the first of their ties off the ground. They and Luke weren't large enough between them to carry the big logs. But as Nick watched, Kyle tied a perfect set of hitches underneath a stubby branch on the end so they could drag it off.

"Nice work," he puffed, when they'd pulled three of them up their work site that way.

Kyle's ears came forward briefly. "And now the ditches?"

"Maybe," Nick said. He eyed the fresh dirt on the uphill side, where it loomed over the pathway. It had to be almost three feet in places, if he counted the crumbly slopes Kyle had piled it on. If they didn't support it, there was a good chance a lot of it was going to end up right back on the trail. "We might need to shore that up."

"Oh," Kyle said. "Sorry."

"No, the dirt had to go somewhere." Nick shook his head. "Don't worry about it. We'll just have to be careful. Let's do these three first, and then we'll figure out how to hold up the side."

All the measuring and digging and seating ties across the trail took more time than they expected, though. They had to cut down two of them, because of how thin the trail was, and by the time they got all three of them packed into their slots the sun had started to sink. Nick had to call a halt.

"No heavy tools without daylight," he said. "We'll finish up tomorrow."

Kyle looked over at Luke, and down the length of the restored trail, and up at the imposing mound of earth they still had to address. "But we're so close."

"I don't know if you noticed, but we're already the first ones setting ties up here," Nick said. "We got three placed, and everyone else is still digging their ditches. You pushed hard today."

Kyle brushed a foot at dirt that was trailing on the nearest semi-buried log. "You said I could do it," he said, as if that was all the explanation, all the justification he needed. And wasn't it?

"That I did." Nick said, and shrugged. "And you will. But nobody said you had to do it all at once. Aren't you sore? I know I am."

"A bit," Kyle said.

"It's okay to listen to that."

That got him to smile. It was shy, and Kyle kept looking down at their work while he did it, but to Nick it was enough. This might have been the first time all day he'd stepped back to look at their progress, without being out to prove something about it at the same time. He would know that with the last of the work schedule tomorrow, it would, indeed, get done.

"It was good work. Both of you. We can come back first thing tomorrow morning, if you really want to."

"Before breakfast?" Kyle asked.

"Wait a minute." Luke, next to him, looked alarmed.

Nick laughed. "He's got a point there, Kyle. Hard to do anything on an empty stomach. Come on, the pot pie's going."


	4. Chapter 4

It was Scoutmaster John's recipe, cooked in a giant cast-iron oven in the coals, and full of savory vegetables and flaky biscuit crust. He had to ward a whole press of hungry scouts away from where it was cooling.

"Recap first," he said, and held up his wooden spoon. "Everyone go sit down. Go on."

They claimed perches around the firepit.

"Almost all of the path has been leveled out," John said. "There's just one patch that still needs it, where the trail switches back. And you all started sinking retention, right?"

There was a chorus of agreement.

"Okay. Johnny, Zan, when you guys and Chris and Steven are done with your ties tomorrow morning, I want you to move up and prep the switchback."

The hippo nodded along, but the bobcat twins gave such over-the-top reluctant groans that Nick fought a sympathetic smile.

"We haven't even finished ours!" Zan said.

John grinned, too. "Kyle already got all his ties in the ground with Luke."

"But that was the short bit, at the top."

"So?" John's tone edged less jovial, and Nick relaxed in his seat a bit. A little banter was fine, but the Scoutmaster drew the same lines Nick would have.

"So make him do it."

John shook his big snout. "Everyone works proportionally, right? And they're going to build a whole retaining wall along that uphill side tomorrow, too, while the rest of you are still finishing your stretches. Come on. We're close. This is a team effort, and we all need to treat it like one."

"I can help, Mr. Larsen." Kyle had his paw up, at about waist height on ASM Greg next to him. "If you want."

Zan scowled over at him.

John laughed. "Well, come see me tomorrow when you've finished with your part of the trail, okay? We'll find something for you to do." He pointed with the spoon. "You're first in line for dinner, too. Everyone else, single file behind Kyle."

And so they sorted themselves into line. Nick and Greg stood at the back, making sure everyone had their plates and bowls. Nick watched Kyle take his bowl back to the canvas chair he'd been sitting on, reach up to put the food in the seat, and hop up.

He was filling his own when there was a scuffle, and small voices raised in protest and alarm.

_"Hey-"_

_"It was my seat first!"_

_"So just ask!"_

_"Zan!"_ Greg froze all of them, except for the little wolf's hackles. The scoutmaster pointed to the open flames. They all followed his claws. "What's the first rule of fires?"

Zan flicked to Greg's thunderous expression, then stared at the firepit. His ears twisted back and down. "Be careful."

"Yes. Why?"

He squirmed at being on the spot. "Because with fire, you only get one mistake."

"That's right. And if I see that again I'll dock your chit. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay." Greg let his paw drop. "Find a different seat, all right?"

"In fact, let's all take our chairs two steps back from the fire, and two steps away from each other," John said. "And there are enough to go around. No more roughhousing."

The scouts complied. Nick came around the fire ring to see Greg and Luke helping Kyle to his feet.

"Are you okay?" The otter asked.

"Yeah." He sniffed, and stood on his own to brush at fresh smudges on his sweatshirt. "Yeah."

His bowl had skittered away. Gravy was soaking into the dirt. Nick bent to retrieve it.

"There's plenty more," he said. "Come with me and we'll try again."

He watched closely to make sure Kyle did get his food back, and that he was settled on the log bench next to Luke to eat, well clear of Zan. And things did quiet down after that, as night started to fall. The hot meal and the warm fire probably helped everyone relax a bit.

The leaders gathered on the far side of the clearing, to wash up some dishes, and have a quiet huddle.

"Boys being boys," Greg suggested, low enough that the others weren't going to hear over their arguments over which constellations were in the sky right now.

Nick looked over. "Yeah, maybe."

"Kyle's turning into a model scout fast," Scoutmaster John said, on his other side. "You deserve some credit for that."

"And Zan?"

"He needs a bit more encouragement," John allowed. "And supervision. Maybe it's a dominance thing at this age, I don't know."

"I'm going to talk to Kyle. Make sure he's okay."

"Thanks, Nick. Make sure he knows it wasn't his fault. I do mean it when I say you and they are setting a good example. I want him to remember that."

\---

They met after dessert, while everyone else washed up and got ready for lights out. Kyle's enthusiasm seemed to have recovered, if the way he'd scraped his cobbler plate clean was any sign.

"Good stuff?" Nick asked.

"Yep. Did you have some?"

"Too sweet for me," he said. "It makes my tongue hurt."

They sat near one of the propane lanterns at the edge of camp. Kyle fiddled with a fistful of pine needles.

"I'm sorry about what happened at dinner," Nick said.

"It's okay, Mr. Wilde."

"What was it about? Did Zan say something?"

Kyle frowned at his work. "Not then."

"Before dinner?" The scouts had range of the camp; there were plenty of little interactions that Nick and the other leaders weren't aware of.

"At lunch, too. And this morning." He flicked a needle out into the dark. "He says he's the alpha."

_Wolves._ Nick kept his expression as neutral as he could. This would have been a problem since Kyle arrived in the troop, then. "Oh."

But Kyle waved it away. "I don't care if he is. I said so."

As he should have. That's exactly what Nick had advised: Let the wolf do his thing, and deny him the satisfaction of knowing he was getting through to Kyle at all.

And to be fair, Kyle was trying. He'd kept his head up during meetings. He'd figured out what he wanted to do, and he'd done it. That's why he was on this trip at all. But Zan was as big and loud as ever - and they were all stuck out here together. That was making it hard. Kyle couldn't just walk away from the worst of it.

"Do you know what Scoutmaster John says?" Nick asked.

"About Zan?"

"About you." Nick ducked to keep Kyle's attention. "He says you're setting an example that all of us can follow. Luke, Johnny, the twins, me - even Zan, too. And I think Zan might know that."

"Is that what made him decide he wanted my chair?" Kyle's smile had gone shy again. "He has a weird way of showing it."

"I think he might be a little bit scared," Nick said. "He's used to being number one scout, and you're showing him that there's more to it than bossing everyone else around."

Kyle seemed to like that notion. "Like finishing the trail?"

Nick laughed. "Yes. Like finishing the trail."

\---

Nick bade Kyle good night and turned in a bit early himself, to tidy up his side of the tent and dig out his phone. It was still at 20 percent charge when it powered up, which was impressive for two days without an outlet.

Judy had called twice, and Nick saw messages waiting. It was surprising that anything had gotten through. They were far enough from the nearest cell towers up here to make reception on normal phones spotty.

_Call me if you can,_ it read.

She'd sent a picture, too, of her big purple eyes taking up most of the frame while she sucked on something with a lemon slice on its rim. The late summer sun was setting down the street behind her seat at Moe's Curbside. Nick smiled at it until the display ran out its timer and blanked. He hadn't thought much of home since they'd come out here. They'd been so busy. Nick supposed it was working.

But Judy picked up after two rings when he dialed. "Hi, love."

"Carrots." They weren't on video, so Nick lay back on one side and balanced the phone on his cheek. "I'm not technically supposed to call."

"But you did," she said. "You sound tired."

"Trailbuilding is hard work," he agreed. "I'll sleep well tonight."

"Did you get my picture? Can you send me one?"

Nick held the phone above him again and opened the camera. The fox looking up at him in the forward flash was a mess - tired, yes, with rumpled fur and streaked with dirt and smoke. "I think you're going to like this."

"Oh-" Judy laughed, a moment later. "Oh, Nick, you're a wreck."

"I'm _rugged._ "

"That's generous."

"You love me."

"I do," she murmured in his ear. "It looks like more fun than this laundry. How's it going? Tell me about your scouts."

So Nick lay back on his sleeping bag and ran her down the list, from the first night to the morning groundbreaking and through to that evening, when Kyle had looked at their work like he was leaving something important unfinished.

"The whole thing in one day, huh?" Her voice fuzzed with the weakened signal.

"Almost," Nick said. "Close. Kyle's found a drive somewhere. And we're all learning conservation, and applying the stuff we covered in meetings. Remembering how to respect fires, and how to use our words sometimes."

_"Oh, no."_

He grinned at her tone. "Zan and a couple of the others are being more difficult than we'd like, and you can't arrest kits."

Judy laughed. "Would you even have cause?"

"Negligent arson, maybe, if something happened." And it would certainly get through to them, probably more than the stern talking-tos did.

But it was a silly fantasy, nothing more. Nick and the other scoutmasters had an obligation to teach these kits their roles and responsibilities as outdoorsmammals and members of society - things like teamwork and cooperation and respect - without shortcuts, or scare tactics or strange punishment.

And it was working with Kyle. Nick was sure of it. Maybe it was true, that all mammals went through something formative and stressful like Kyle had, and like Nick himself had all those years ago. But maybe just by being there for him, to talk him through the rough parts and give him the desire to succeed, Nick had figured out how to counter the worst of it. To make the critical difference. Maybe Kyle would do the rest himself.

"It's like you said. They've got to learn."

"But he is learning. You sound so proud of him."

Nick smiled. It was like she could read his mind. "Yes, I am."

"I'm proud of _you,_ " she said. "I wish I could be there. Just to give you a hug."

That kept Nick warm better than any fire could. "I'll hold you to it. We'll be back tomorrow afternoon, before you know it."

"Okay. Sleep well, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you, too, Carrots."

Nick should have cleaned up a bit more. His toothbrush was still in his bag, and he could smell the smoke in his fur. But the bedroll was soft and warming up under him. It was nice to lie here, and catch the occasional distant voices and crunch of gravel and twigs underfoot as scouts passed the tent.

He would probably have fallen asleep like that, had someone not come up and tapped on the tent frame.

"You decent, Nick?"

"Yeah." Nick propped himself up as Greg unzipped the tent and stamped his feet on the little rug they used to keep from tracking twigs and dirt inside. "How's it going?"

"Calmed down." The lion dropped onto his own bag, on the other side of the mesh. "John's watching the fire, and then he'll be along. Kyle doing okay?"

"I left him with Luke," Nick said. "They did some bonding this afternoon; They seem to be getting on well." He tracked the rising patter of feet outside. "How do they have the energy for that?"

"It's all the sugar." Greg cranked his jaw open in a massive feline yawn. "Means it should be fun prying them out of their tents tomorrow morning, too."

But the footsteps pounded right up, and the beam of a flashlight bounced around on the tent fabric. Nick could hear a small mammal breathing hard.

"Mr. Wilde?" an otter piped. "Mr. Wilde, are you in there?"

"What's up, Luke?"

"It's Kyle."

Nick caught Greg's eye, and both of them keyed right back up. He pushed himself to his feet. "Luke, is he hurt?"

"No, he's okay. But- just come quick."

Nick held soothing paws out to Greg in the dark, and pointed one toward the center of the camp. _I'll take care of this, and I'll meet you there._ Greg nodded and gave him room to get out of the tent.

The light glared up at him, where an anxious Luke was shining it in his face.

"Where is he?"

"Up by the trail."

Kyle wasn't supposed to have taken Nick's encouragement quite that literally. "You guys are supposed to stay off the work sites when it's dark out."

"I know." Luke had to shine the light on the clearing in front of them, to see where he was going as they rushed. Nick's eyes adjusted back to the gloom. "But he left his water up there. We went to go get it."

At least they were using the buddy system Nick had drilled into them. He let the otter save his breath and followed. They crossed the soft, fine-raked dirt of the lower stretches of the restored path and came around the switchback. Nick stopped short.

The trail was gone.

Kyle stood on the downhill edge, staring at a massive scatter of collapsed dirt and and crumbly clay. There should have been dull moonlight on the buried ties. Instead, even the shallow edge of the landslide came all the way up to his nose.

Nick stood there and felt very tired - and not because of all the work they would now have to do. Kyle had been right, all along. They should never have left the pile alone to settle.

And that was on Nick. Kyle needed to know that.

His ears were still back. They'd barely flicked at Nick's arrival with Luke. "You said I would finish."

"Kyle."

"You said I would." He looked up and Nick saw the shiny tracks down his muzzle.

Nick sank to one knee and reached a careful paw for his shoulder. "Yes, I did. And I won't lie, it is going to take more time now. But you will finish."

"How do you _know?_ " His muzzle screwed up and he pulled away from both of them. "You say that now, but what if he just ruins it again?"

_Again?_ Nick felt his hackles tightening. "Kyle, did someone do this on purpose?"

The meerkat just stared down through the tears at the fresh dirt on his paws.

"Luke?"

He shook his head. "I didn't see anyone, Mr. Wilde."

And Kyle wouldn't say, or didn't know. But as Luke played the light over the slide again, at the top where the dirt had separated, Nick could see a line of hasty scrapes and cuts of where a larger shovel had levered the earth away from the rest of the hill.

Something dropped out of him, and left a hole that he had spent decades filling in.


	5. Chapter 5

Digs about too-large tools would be forgotten eventually. Fighting over seating was easy enough to put a stop to. But this- this was physical.

And it was making Nick feel like everything he'd done was for nothing. Kyle had trusted him when he told him that he was as capable as any of these other mammals, that he could keep up, that he could do anything he set his mind to. This would reverse every scrap of that progress: On the trail, and in his own mind.

Nick knew how that ended.

"Mr. Wilde?" Luke's eyes were big in the moonlight, at whatever he saw on Nick's muzzle.

"We're fixing this," he said, because there was nothing else to say.

_"How?"_ Kyle demanded. "It's like starting over."

"Then we start over."

Nick saw them flinch at his tone, but he wasn't about to let some narrow-minded kids force someone away. Not again. He was here to stop it this time, and that had to mean something.

"You guys should get back down to camp for right now," he said, and forced his voice gentler. "Stick together, okay?"

"But-"

"Go on. I'll take care of this."

Nick turned, so Kyle wouldn't see the anger, and moved fast enough that the night air was a cool breeze on his face. He willed it to work quickly.

The sheer _wrongness_ was burning him up like almost nothing else. Someone - and Nick had a good idea who - didn't think Kyle deserved to even try to keep up. Someone was trying to decide what he could and couldn't do. They were dictating, because Kyle was different.

But that wasn't the part that was making him grind his claws against his palms as he went.

Being here hadn't made enough of a difference. Every affirmation and reassurance and promise that Nick had made was as good as the dirt that had buried them. And Kyle would know that. He would be convinced now that it was all just talk. That one of the few mammals he had started to trust didn't mean it after all.

Nick knew he couldn't put that right the way he wanted to. There was nothing he could do to reach out and force Zan to understand, to see what his actions really did to mammals. There was no way to impress on any of them what he had already learned, and started to heal from.

And right now, Nick didn't know which felt worse: that he'd failed Kyle, or that he'd failed himself.

So when he entered the clearing at the center of camp, he didn't stop at the dying fire with the other scoutmasters.

"Nobody's hurt," he said. "Luke and Kyle should be coming back to camp. Someone took a shovel to the hill and washed out their trail."

"Oh, no." John got to his feet, and turned as Nick stalked past them to the truck where they kept the tools.

"They didn't see who?" Greg asked.

"You want to guess?" Nick hefted one of the big propane tanks out of the rack. It thudded into the dirt between his feet. "Kind of academic right now, in any case."

"Maybe." John, beside him, leaned over to help, and held the tank down for long enough to catch Nick's eye. "But I would like to keep things from getting any worse."

Nick winced. He was right, of course.

"I'm sorry, John. I didn't want this coming out where they would see."

There was something in John's expression. Maybe he'd guessed that Nick's own history was less than comfortable. Was 'chased off when the mammals you thought were friends muzzled you' something that came up in the official background checks?

"We'll take care of it," was all he said. "What do you need us to do?"

"I sent Kyle and Luke back down to their tent. Make sure they're okay." Nick turned reach back up into the truck, and paused when something grim settled in his gut. "And keep an eye out. It looks like we're still one shovel short."

\---

He dug solo, with the quiet hiss of the propane lantern behind him and the soft chunk-chunk of the shovel in the ground. If he spread it out a bit, Nick thought he could get away with dumping the dirt downslope after all. But this was still going to take a couple of hours, at least.

That was plenty of time to work out the stress, so none of it bounced back on his scouts. As it was, he would need to talk with Kyle about how he'd just walked away. He didn't deserve that.

So Nick dug and moved dirt and cooled down on what had happened. Got a bit more objective.

He wasn't going to worry much about whatever had gone through Zan's head. Maybe he was sore about getting put in his place. Maybe he was taking Kyle's high-road approach personally. Nick didn't know.

The fact was kits didn't think long-term, and to expect them to was just giving most of them more credit than they deserved at this age. By the same token, showing them right from wrong wasn't as easy as slapping them in cuffs.

Restraint was part of this job he'd volunteered for, just as much as it was in his daily work. It was probably even more important, actually. And sometimes, yes - that was going to mean watching mammals learn hard lessons themselves.

And sometimes that was going to mean teaching by example. Doing what he had the authority and the unique foresight to do - and hoping it was enough.

His ears caught the crunch and scuff of passage on the trail below him. Scoutmaster Greg was climbing up, with a flashlight in his paw. He stopped just above the switchback, and shook his head in surprise at the progress Nick had already made.

"Everybody's settled," he said.

"Did you talk to Kyle?"

"Yeah, I did. I think he's doing okay."

Nick leaned on his shovel. "Good. What about our missing tool?"

"Found it. Behind Zan's tent."

Nick had expected this - but the dirt therapy was working. He didn't feel the vindictiveness he had earlier. It was just a faint resignation, that it would all probably end in discipline.

"We'll have a talk with him in the morning," Greg said. "I locked the truck, so before he can get in, he'll have to come find me and John."

"Okay."

"You going to keep at it?" the lion asked.

"If we can spare the propane." Nick bent an ear for the subtle noise of the lantern behind him.

"No problem. It's the last night."

"A little while longer, then. I want to get as much as I can done tonight."

"Okay." Greg got a faint smile and looked down. "In that case, I brought you a buddy."

A meerkat stepped around his legs and into the light, with the smallest shovel they had over his shoulder.


	6. Chapter 6

The work seemed to go twice as fast with help, even if Kyle's shovel didn't move as much dirt. The pile was steadily disappearing, scoop by scoop. Nick was tired and sore from a long day's work, and expected Kyle was, too, but he could see every time that Kyle looked up at him that that didn't matter right now. The labor was necessary, and important. Symbolic, if such a word could describe a mound of dirt.

He wanted to say something about it. He wanted to know what had gone through his head that made Kyle decide to climb back up here, even after this last straw. He wanted to make sure he proved to Kyle that this trail wasn't the end-all, that his worth didn't rest on something so temporary and easily undone.

And he needed to make things right. The problem was he didn't know where to start. Kyle deserved to understand at least some of the reason for Nick's behavior, but to tell him exactly why might do more harm than good.

So they stayed quiet and kept from breaking the fragile spell, until Kyle staked his shovel into the pile and squinted into the darkness at the edge of the path.

"What is it?" Nick asked.

Kyle turned to look up at him. "My water. That's what I came up here for the first time. To find it."

Nick had taken it from a branch on one of the saplings, to bring back with him that night. He picked it up from the flat ground beside the lantern and held it out.

Kyle took it with both paws to drink. Nick watched, and decided now was as good a time as any.

"I owe you an apology, Kyle."

"It's okay, Mr. Wilde. It wasn't your fault."

"Not about this, exactly." Nick waved the landslide away. "I was angry, earlier. It wasn't because of you."

He was solemn. "I know."

_Such patience._ Nick crouched down on the cleared portion of the path.

"When I was in Junior Ranger Scouts, even younger than you, this happened to me, too." Nick felt the muscles in his jaw flex. "I was the odd one out. The only predator."

"Really? You?"

It turned into a sad smile. "Really. Nobody wanted me in the pack. So I stopped going. And sometimes that still bothers me. When I see something like this happen-" He looked at the dirt. "It still hurts. Because I never want to watch someone else go through it. Especially not you."

Kyle chewed on that, with his ears folded in the night breeze. He looked from their progress up to Nick. "But you came back."

Up here tonight, Nick wondered, or back into the fold of scouting at all? Was the difference important right now?

It was such a strange thing, to receive this uncomplicated trust. Maybe Kyle didn't grasp the vicarious guilt, or the balance Nick had to strike. Maybe he just didn't care.

Or maybe, Nick realized, all he saw was someone who believed in him - and that had been the difference that mattered.

"So did you."

Kyle nodded and hefted his shovel. "You said we were going to finish this trail."

"Even if it takes all night, huh?" Nick chuckled, shook his head and dug another load of dirt out of the pile. "The rest of us could learn a thing or two about perseverance from you, I think."

"Or from you." Kyle shrugged and tossed another shovelful into the dark. "Zan didn't make you change your mind. Why should I let him change mine?"

\---

As assistant scoutmaster, Nick was responsible for waking up in the mornings and rousing the rest of the camp to its duties.

As it was, he only opened his eyes when Greg leaned in the entrance and shook the frame so the whole tent rattled. He sat upright in his sleeping bag.

"I missed reveille."

"You get a pass, for getting in two hours before everyone else got up." Greg chuckled. "But I'd get some breakfast while there's still some to get."

Nick needed a shower something fierce. He stuck his head under the five-gallon water jug they'd wedged in a nearby tree, and it woke him up, but he still felt mussed in his fur. At least there was coffee, and a breakfast burrito Greg had left on the adults' griddle for him, with actual eggs.

Everyone else had finished eating and was breaking camp. Chris and Steven were trying to sort out their matching water bottles. Richie was helping Johnny take apart the propane grill and kitchen table. And Nick saw Scoutmaster John sitting on a log off to one side in the shade, deep in discussion with Zan.

Kyle and Luke were taking turns jumping on the rolled-up bundle of their tent to get the air out when Nick found them. He wondered where they got their energy from.

"Ready to go, you two? Last little bit of the trail to finish."

"Yep," Kyle said.

But Luke tilted his head as they fell in to go retrieve their tools from the reopened truck. "What about the dirt?"

Nick cocked an eyebrow at Kyle. _You didn't say anything?_

"We fixed the dirt."

" _What?_ When?"

The huge grin spilled onto his muzzle. "Last night!"

"You didn't tell me that," Luke protested. "Is that where you were?"

"Well, you were asleep when I got back."

"Then come wake me up next time so I can help!"

Nick just smiled.

With the trail clear, their work went smoothly. They carved a channel for an extra stack of retaining ties on the uphill edge of the trail, and dug a big rock out of the ground nearby to sink where it would hold the wall in place. The rest of the troop had caught up by the time they'd finished - from his perch on the rocks at the top of the trail, alongside Kyle and Luke, Nick saw Zan and a watchful Scoutmaster John polishing off the last segment on the switchback.

The rest was a bit of a blur. They stood in freshly uniformed ranks and saluted the colors at retirement, and stretched out to comb the campsite for trash and fire hazards, and piled into the trucks to convoy down the bumpy mountain roads toward the city. It was coming up on midday, and warmer now that they were down in the lower elevations. Every time Nick checked the rearview, he saw someone or other dozing and had to fight off a yawn himself.

And then they were back in the school parking lot they'd left from. Nick waited and supervised, making sure everyone got picked up, and paid quiet attention as Scoutmaster John took both Kyle and Zan aside. He couldn't hear the words exchanged from here, but he watched as Kyle reached up with an outstretched paw, until Zan eventually took it.

And Kyle, with his lumpy duffel, was the last scout to go. He sat and fiddled with the string ties on the zipper while he waited. Nick realized he was practicing his knots. When his dad arrived in their station wagon, Kyle took time from loading his bags in the back to turn and wave goodbye on tiptoe.

John looked on from where he was inventorying troop gear on the lawn.

"That was some good work this weekend, Nick."

Nick let his paw drop and watched the car go. "I was telling Greg, it's not up to me. Kyle decided he wanted it to go that way."

"Maybe so," the scoutmaster said. "I wouldn't sell yourself short, though."

"Thanks for letting us drain that fuel last night."

John smiled. "I can't think of a better use for it."

"How's Zan? I saw the talk."

"I think we got a genuine apology out of him. Policy is we give his parents a call and recommended he sit out the next couple meetings," John said. "His dad seemed pretty steamed to hear he was causing trouble. I think he'll get sorted out."

"You need any help with this?"

"Nah, I'm almost done. Go get cleaned up. You earned it."

"Thanks, John."

"Thank _you._ " He went on counting shovels. "See you next week, I hope."

It was a couple blocks to the train. Nick resettled his pack and set out into the weekend lunch rush.

A few weird looks later, it occurred to him that he probably looked - and smelled - like a hobo. But he was too tired to be bothered by the glances he was getting.

And some of these mammals seemed to get it, too, when they saw his neckerchief, or the unit patches. _Oh. Scoutmaster._

Nick liked that. He felt the part, finally.

It was funny - the uniform had helped him jump back in, and the early meetings, and the other leaders he worked with. But Nick didn't think he'd found his stride until he'd come through the worst of it, and he and Kyle had been surveying their work on the trail that one last time, and shaking grateful paws over a job well and truly done. It wasn't perfect - but then if it had been, if Kyle hadn't faced his own troubles and taught Nick a few things along the way - would he even feel this way at all?

His phone was still buried in his pack, so deep that he almost didn't feel it going off. Nick stopped by the station, out of the flow of foot traffic, and dug it out to juggle with his transit pass.

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Oh, Nick, you sound even worse," Judy laughed. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Not really." Nick pulled his phone away from his ear to look at the screen. "My battery's at two percent, so talk fast."

"Okay. I'm at home. You want to come here?"

"Yeah." Nick looked at the map over the seats in the car. "Actually, no. Meet me at my place. I need to see you, I need a shower, I need more food, and then I need you to keep me awake."

"On my way," she said. "Awake, huh? You don't want a nap?"

"Nap can come after," Nick said. He looped an arm around one of the upright poles as the train left the station. "I have a story for you first."

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://falke-scribblings.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> [chronology](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yPmpmdo39SmiRNC4BJVv2PAWi7fxBoP5FWba9n8s3qg/edit?pref=2&pli=1)


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